Trying out the local cuisine

The first few days we stuck to our local bistro, where we live and waited until the ladies had found their brother, who would slouch up to our table and ask :"Chicken or beef?". Beer and cola are both internationally understood, and when one beer was empty I'd just raise a finger, say "Muy attitt" (one more) and that's that.

At the shopping mall (you heard right!) we even dared to order at the Lucky Burger (Proudly Cambodian Owned) and at the all new all exciting Kentucky Fried Chicken. (Colonel!)

But today was our first day at the office. My job, by the way, is to classify and evaluate the available stock of handguns and assault rifles of THE ORGANIZATION. This is done online, the actual guns are locked up in the basement. Can't wait to get my hands on that Heckler&Koch HK35. It needs a serious overhaul, but the HK35 is practically indestructible, so I'm quite confident that I can fix her.

Never mind.Where was I? Right, first day, office, lunch break. OK, so we checked out several restaurants before deciding on the Vietnamese "Nhà Vệ Sinh". It looked clean enough, there was plenty of business and even though the waiter didn't speak English the menu had pretty little pictures of the food with numbers on it. We first successfully ordered the drinks, and then went on to study the menu. Since I couldn't decide and Annette started to be impatient I finally made a "whatever" gesture towards the waiter, who smiled and nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. After a while they first served Annette's fried fish with lemongrass sauce, which looked and tasted just fine. Annette was just halfway through her meal, when suddenly the kitchen doors burst open and four heavyset waiters appeared with burning fireworks in their hands and carrying on their broad shoulders what appeared to be a fried piglet garnished with chili, rice and vegetables. They walked around the table chanting "Heo con! Heo con! Heo con!" which is Vietnamese for piglet. Everybody else in the restaurant got up, cheered and clapped their hands rhythmically and looked at me expectantly. Annette almost choked on her fish, she had to laugh so hard. I just shot her a sideways glance and joined in with the chanting. Finally, the tray was slammed down on our table and a little boy wearing just a little apron knelt  before me and offered me a sort of sickle knife. When I reached for the handle the whole room fell silent. I started to break a sweat. All eyes in the room were on me. I took some time to inspect the blade carefully. The tension was unbelievable. Finally, when I couldn't stand it anymore I muttered "What the hell", raised the sickle above my head and just chopped down. And again. And again. And again. Things became a bit blurred after this. When I finally regained consciousness I was covered in pieces of the pig's skin and fat. The Piglet was basically mashed. Another moment of silence ensued. Then the whole room burst out cheering, the waiters fill mashed piglet into bowls and passed them around the room, the first one of course for me. People walked up to me, clapped me on the shoulders and cheered and stuffed themselves with mashed piglet. Annette just shook her head, finished her meal, left a couple of dollars on the table and left for the office. After the last bone fragment was picked clean I payed a lot less then you would expect, said my goodbyes and went home to shower up. My landlord met me on the stairs, looked me up and down and asked "Heo con?" 
When I affirmed this he nodded approvingly, clapped me on the shoulder and went on his way.

Next time I'll just have the chicken.