Never go without your lawyer

When I went to open my door this morning I was facing an elderly gentleman perhaps in his 60´s accompanied by two burly Cambodians, and I mean gorilla-burly. He introduced himself as Saul Goodmann, attorney at law and told me that a friend of my wife working for the IMF had heard about my troubles and had offered to help. Thank goodness for the cavalry! He then asked me to accompany him to a safe house in the diplomat district of Phnom Penh immediately, and told me not to worry about a thing. Since I didn´t have any luggage I only had to pay my room and drop off the key. Outside the hotel a Mercedes Benz awaited us. On the way to the safe house he casually interviewed me about the facts, asked me about my clothing size, picked up the mobile phone and ordered his secretary to deliver 3 shirts and two pairs of pants as well as some underwear and sox to the house. Hot Damn, I knew right then that I was back in the game. He then explained his strategy to me. The drugcharges would be dropped, since the substances and all possible traces of them had disappeared from my body by now.  My international liability insurance would take care of the damage to the rice field and the buffalo, and a medical report would state that I was temporarily non compos mentis due to a heat stroke. He also told me not to worry about the legal fees, it was all being taken care of by my friend at the IMF. I just couldn´t believe my luck. For legal reasons I cannot mention the name of our friend at the IMF, but it once more proves that it´s good to have friends in high places. I´m currently at the safe house in a luxurious apartment, I´ve already had a shower, I´m dressed in new Khakis and shirt and waiting for the doctor to give me the medical exam, which really is just a formality. I won´t even have to appear before the court, since I officially still need to recover from the impact of the heat stroke. Saul will also help me to smooth things over at the ORGANIZATION. Talk about being born on a sunday, huh? Saul has only asked me to cut back on the drink until we´re in the clear, which is the only drawback. But cutting back doesn´t mean abstinence, so I´m having a nice Gin&Tonic breakfast while waiting for the doctor. I mean, why would they have a house-bar in this place if I´m not meant to use it? And after all, I´m a responsible person and a professional. Life´s too good!

Ah, the doctor has arrived, so I have to drink up and leave for now. But I´ll get back to you with the latest  news as soon as possible.

Cheerio, and thank you for your support!